Ten years ago I was Eighteen. I had just graduated high school and started college. The first semester I took five classes. Seventeen credits. By the end of the semester I was only enrolled in one class. That was golf. I had quit going to Math, English, Music, and Biology. I eventually dropped them. I don't really know why I gave up on the other classes, maybe because they were harder than high school classes, maybe because I didn't have the right mindset to do well and succeed. I tried to convinced myself that I could do it. The next semester I had another full schedule. Only this time I didn't make it more than a couple weeks. I didn't even bother to drop them, I just quit going. Halfway through the semester I had ran through all my money on booze and partying, and had to go back to work. Looking back from ten years later, I realize that the decision I made to quit, and to not even try in college was the biggest failure of my life.
After reading this essay I'm still not sure if I "choked", or "panicked". Maybe both, maybe neither. The classes weren't overly difficult. I'm currently taking all those that I had previously dropped, and am doing fine. I think that it was probably more me getting out in the "real world" with no one to tell me what I could and couldn't do, nobody to wake me up and tell me to go to class. So I panicked, and did whatever, I followed the crowd, and forgot the things I was taught.
No comments:
Post a Comment